journalistic dilemma: to go ahead or not?

Thursday 18 January, I came across one of the most confusing journalistic intersection.I spent the longest 15 minutes in my life trying to decide whether to go ahead with a story which might carry undesirable consequences. OR, I could just take it easy and compromise with controversy by printing the story one day later requested by the PR? I can't help but wander, how far could a journalist live on total independence in a sickening media ecology in Hong Kong?

The dilemma started from me being invited to a media lunch by the Director of Social Welfare. Ground rules for attending: no recording and no reporting.I was lucky enough to sit right next to the director so I got to hear everything he said over lunch with two round tables packed with more than 20 Hong Kong reporters along with PR officers and other senior officials from the department. On my right, was my main rival who is at least 15 years more experienced than me and earning a package probably 5 times as much. Was I nervous? hell yeah.The senior official leaked out a good story about the government is studying the feasibility of imposing a cut-off time over dole payment system which is a drastic welfare policy change affecting many of the underprivileged groups.

By instinct, I guarded this with my life bringing it back to newsroom. My editor rewarded me with a frontpage position.Government's PR soon found out I was drilling on this piece. It's to her best interest trying to prohibit the story from running because the reporters weren't properly briefed and publicity effect will be varied. First she accused me of breaking rules of game. Then she tried harder by telling me I may run the risk of being blacklisted by the government and fellow reporters who agreed on the no recording and no reporting rule.I told her I would really be a lousy journalist if I'm not running the story because I know it for sure that I wasn't the only rebellious reporter there. (Infact, I didn't know that for sure. I only knew if a young reporter like me could sense the pressing urge to print the story, it will be even more so for the rest of the senior reporters who attended the gathering.)
The PR got busted and then turned into this soft tone trying to talk me into running it one day later.I got soft and agreed talking it over with my editor while the PR called around other reporters trying to talk them into sealing the story. On the other line, I have got this professor ringing me back to comment on the story and my boss on my back trying to figure out what the hell was I doing.

I told my editor what the PR told me and he was,by no surprise, acting all furious.He blamed me for letting the PR what story i'm working on and not clearing out the deals before bringing the story back to the newsroom.For the record, I didn't tell the PR anything. She just figured it out somehow.But he was right about the deals clearance.With the rules, i guess they are made to be broken just as everyone says and especially if you've got a good story.anyhow, I went back to my desk trying to think if I should go ahead with the story because my editor said he didn't know what to do.

If i was the only one to run the story, good on me for scooping the news but down for being hated among other reporters for breaking the deals. Journalists among Hong Kong's printed media tend to help each other out, deals breakers are rare.If I didn't run the story but someone else has it the next day, I will be known for being a chicken shit and running the risk of being fired. Plus, consciously, I probably won't be able to live with myself knowing I have compromised upon journalistic independence.It's seem to me at that time i will end up losing integrity by going either way.That 15 minutes was the longest moment in my life. I felt like I was being cooked up on this burning grill.Finally, I was like, "Fxxk it!'' I stood up and told my editor that I'm going ahead with it and just couldn't careless because I have another child abuse story to write on top of the dilemma.After making the decision, I felt an immediate relief although I wasn't sure I have made the right one. But I went out for a ciggie anyway.Ten minutes later, the PR called back informing me her damage control had utterly failed. Other reporters were way too furious trying to get a bite on this one that no PR sweet talks could slow down the jaws. I asked her who was the most furious out of all, she told me it was the experienced reporter sitting by my right hand side during the lunch.

Just like every other reporter, I got my story in-time and made local news session frontpage.Without paying a heavy price, I am just glad that I have learnt a lesson by trusting my own journalistic instinct and not to compromise journalistic independence in times of difficulty.