when am i going to learn?

In the first week of my two weeks holiday,I have successfully-

1.fucked up my own biological clock.it's over 7:30am and am still awake.
2.watched all dvds available at home.
3.disappointed mom for not going to gym nor being on diet.
4.finished a book and now starting my second on john grisham's the client.
5.overslept for 12 hours a day.
6.had pizza two nights in a row.
7.talked to a gd old friend from overseas via the net.
8.dumped a really hot "friend" whom we have been lusting for each other in the last 10 months(very Gd!).
9.trashed self confidence level to a record low.
10.relaxed self from office nightmares.
11.practically lived like a scum bag.

I have not-

1.read 5 books as planned.
2.received any Christmas present.
3.begun writing two features stories for work and sending photographs to editor.
4.exercised.
5.watched my diet.
6.gotten laid.
7.cleaned up bedroom.
8.left home for three days.
9.found love.
10.drunk enough water.
11.gone to Beijing for a snowy Christmas and visited grandma as planned due to laziness.(beginning self-hatred now)

in the coming one week, i shall-

FINISH the damn features and send off photographs or i will be in deep shit!(starting to panic)

christmas agony

it's the same old cigarettes smell seeping through winter's cold air in my bedroom. no turkey, no brandy butter pudding during Christmas in my house. hi everyone, i'm 26 and am still single.
a mouth watering hot date had turned cold last night. should have never brought over that 6 hours movie "the best of youth" to watch at his place. should have never met him at the first place anyway. that six-hour time frame would have allowed plenty of bull shit excuses for some intimacy acts or some sort of flirtations.but there was nothing.it turned out to be six hours of agony, to be exact, of me hoping he would lean over. i was staring at the hot Italian actors in the movie and sitting on the other couch,half drunk and agonizing.My mouth watering hot date was figuring out the plots and guessing if the characters were to be ended up banging each other. Hello?!?
i did it again. don't you just hate it when you are once again landed in this vulnerable position and yet, can't let go cos you are so damn into him?
shall never fall for handsome men again.

christmas joy

I don't remember what Ramansh looked like nor understand him much on the phone because of his accent. but i guess there isn't much to understand cos he calls me every year at the same time for the same thing:wishing me a merry christmas.

Ramansh was barely 18 when i first met him in a press conference in 2005. He's a asylum seeker fleeing persecution from his home country in South Asia.
besides his annual christmas wish,Ramansh once rang last year and told me he was arrested by police for not having valid identification and overstaying. Silly Ramansh thought a young reporter might be able to help him out of the situation but he had no idea how influential-less i am.all i could do was to refer him a social worker.

today, i received my usual simple and neat christmas phone call from ramansh. only this time, there's a sense of joy attached to his greeting.
Ramansh's refugees' claim has finally been approved by the United Nation Higher Commissioner for Refugees in Hong Kong. In about three weeks' time, he would be able to find out where his new home will be.
I am overjoyed and yet, was put in shame by him.

Despite of Ramansh's shortcomings as an asylum seeker in Hong Kong, his self-less soul is not restrained by the situation he's in. Most would think Ramansh's daily struggle for the most fundamental human rights to survive would leave him nothing much to offer others.But Ramansh has demonstrated a precious side of humanity.

His untiring christmas greetings, despite being short and hard to understand at times, are more sincere than many spam greetings I got from a lot of my non-refugees friends. The simple act of his has brightened up my lonely winter holiday. I can't help but wonder how come a man like man would still have energy to spread the extra love. On the other side, me, is sitting at home watching dvds all day and whin about my own situation. He really puts me in shame!

I would just like to take this chance and make my stranger-friend Ramansh a toast of the new year: To a new life ahead,Ramansh, all the best!